grin. it grows. to be the cause of this movement of muscle and nerve. fills my cup, but never to the brim. i take what is given though am left unsatisfied. it goes down and i feel the familiar fire. a burn that warms me inside and out. buttons you chose to disregard. shiver. there’s a blue light repeatedly playing. discovered by an appeal of substance. lead to a later hour. seen in the moonlight that creeps into the room woozy with hope. then the shoreline. so i dive. emerced. heat on my hip. tingle. hands, arms, neck, legs, eyes, hands, hands, hands discovering. we dance and the shadows grow smaller, tighter. i am the wolf and you are the moon. spring settles suddenly. a quiet wonderment takes place. the door is locked and eyes slip close. i hope the flowers bloom again in the morning and every morning following.
What can I say about 2012. Well it certainly was a year of sad endings and new beginnings. This was a year of struggle, of mistakes, of growing to be a stronger person, of learning how to forgive and forget, and of breaking outside my comfort zone. I made an incredible friend that I hope will forever be apart of my life. I became closer to an old friend that has a pure heart of gold. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the past and wishing things were different and not being happy with the present, but in the end I realized that things are always meant to be and the future is worth much more of my time and attention. I can honestly say that I experienced one of the biggest heart breaks of my life. But when one door closes, it seemed so many others opened. I learned to appreciate my independence once more. I think that in order to find the right path, I first had to get completely lost and try as many roads as I could. I’ve slowly learned to stop focusing on all of the negatives of my life. Now every morning when I wake up, and before I even get out of bed, I think of ten things that I am grateful for and I say thank you to the universe that I am alive today.
2013. I think next year is going to amaze me. No, I know it will. I’m going back to school in the summer time. I’m going to travel more, laugh more, try more new things, work on learning a new language, eat better, work out more, love more, build a beautiful new bike for myself, take thousands of pictures, see the ocean again, climb more 14ers, worry less about money, make new friends, and spread as much joy, peace, and love as I can.
“The only person you should try and be better than, is the person you were yesterday.”
Local music artist, Alan Warder.
dead horse.
Next year will be better. Next year will be brighter.
I think I’m finally ready to close that door and lock away everything behind it. I’m ready to stop having hope for you and for things that will never happen. I’m ready to focus on the future and all the wonderful people I have yet to meet. People who want to be in my life and be apart of my tomorrow. I have no idea if I can ever feel for someone the way I felt for you, but I’m sure going to try and find out. I just can’t help but think of what you’re losing and how little it probably means to you and it astonishes me. I know how wonderful of a person I am and how big my heart is, and I’m looking forward to someone who will truly value it. I deserve the best and nothing less:)
1/29 Next »
